Tap Dance to Work

Trait #11: Being Process and Performance Oriented

        In the spring of 2010, two consummate artists will stage a bold experiment.  Damian Smith, a Principal Dancer with the San Francisco Ballet Company and Muriel Maffré, one of the greatest ballerinas of our time, will create a marvelous piece of art.  But there will be no stage, no grandiose opera hall.  Damian and Muriel will work with a composer and choreographer to create a series of early stage rehearsals in a San Francisco storefront.  Instead of a performance, passersby will get a peek at two perspiration-soaked ballet stars presenting their process for public consumption.

        Muriel Maffré is the poster child for process over performance.  An unusually tall ballerina at six-foot-four en pointe, this cerebral French artist has long defied expectations to become an international sensation.  Her career has been defined by many successes; she danced for seventeen years with the San Francisco Ballet as a Principal, and upon retiring in 2008, she received the highest honors a French artist can attain when she was named Chevalier de l’Ordre des Arts et des Lettres by the French Ministry of Culture.  And yet, for Maffré, all of this is secondary.  She dances because she is deeply in love with the process, not the honors, the adulation or the applause.

“It is very gratifying for me to deemphasize the moment of the performance,” she says in her thick but elegant accent, “which can be very beautiful and very rich and intense…but also, when you are a perfectionist, the performance can be disappointing.  By bringing focus and value to the process, I found a place where I could be gratified at all times with my work.”

Maffré’s discipline and devotion to her art is both intensely subjective and objective.  

“Process can be just the digging deeper and deeper every time,” Maffré explains.  “It’s also cumulative, building something…constructing and not ‘the performance thing,’ not showing you at your best every time and not having that goal necessarily.  That can be vain.”

Striking words from a woman working in a world defined by vanity, presentation and the pursuit of perfection.  After all, Ballet is a grandly constructed illusion where flawless beauty is the goal.  And yet, Maffré strives to strip the polish.  “There is the luster which is actually a barrier to seeing what is really authentic.  There is a projection, there is a forcing, forcing to have you like it.  It’s selling something.”

In those three sentences, Maffré articulates five traits that are shared among great human beings.  She is not only acutely aware of and sensitive to others (in this case, the audience); she has a respect for them that is egalitarian at its core.  She is as intent on the joy of creating a ballet as she is in performing it, and sees through the artifice.  And finally, she is profoundly true to herself.  And that sincerity is riveting.  Damian Smith, who has frequently “partnered” Maffré over the years, says that “You can have the whole San Francisco Ballet leaping in high costume on one side of the stage while Muriel simply walks on to the other.  And the audience will watch her.”     

That kind of power from a dancer who was not even supposed to dance. 

Growing up in a small village west of Paris, Maffré started performing on an outdoor tennis court because there was no theater.  At the age of nine, she was accepted at the revered Paris Opera.  But by sixteen, she had grown tall—a formidable five foot ten and six foot four when fully elevated ‘en pointe’.  “I had a very formal education in ballet at the Paris Opera and I think it made me very, very self-conscious about myself.” 

“Because they were critical?

“Yes.”

“What did they say to you?”

“They said “You are a beautiful plant.  But you can’t dance.”

Nonetheless, ballet had captured her heart, even if it had quashed her confidence, “I fell in love with ballet. I fell in love with the physical aspect of ballet and then through that it took something away and brought something in.  But what it took away – was kind of this ability to relate easily through words, through normal means of communication.”

With ballet’s arbiters declaring her unfit, Maffré turned inward, focused on meaning as much as technique, what she calls, “a quality of intention” for each and every movement.  Despite her detractors, she created a life and career “by really developing something that was completely in tune with who I was and cultivating that out.”  What irony!  By developing an ability to communicate her humble yet powerful individuality, Maffre defied detractors who felt she’d never fit in.

In life, most of us are judged by what we deliver, not how we deliver it.  The best among us not only deliver great products, services, and performances; they also take great pride and joy in the doing.  Of course, by making your process joyous you have a much better shot at being a top performer.  It’s about creating a daily routine tailored to your talents, needs and most of all --wants.  Instead of making your work merely a means to an end, make it an end in and of itself… and the ends will very likely take care of themselves.

Maslow on “the doing itself”

Abraham Maslow writes that great beings clearly distinguish between means and ends, between preparation and achievement.  But they also find delight in their work.  They are “somewhat more likely to appreciate for its own sake, and in an absolute way, the doing itself; they can enjoy for its own sake the getting to some place as well as the arriving.”

This is wonderful because it supports the notion that you ought to do what you want to do.  And even more compelling, the best among us invert that premise—they want to do what they ought to do.  As Maslow puts it, among the best human beings, “desires are in excellent accord with reason…Duty cannot be contrasted with pleasure nor work with play when duty is pleasure, when work is play, and the person doing his duty and being virtuous is simultaneously seeking his pleasure and being happy.”  What an affirmation for doing what you love!

It’s not always about putting out the most effort, or having the most spectacular career.  You just have to set up the circumstances in which you love to work.  You must master the art of elevating process.  Once you do that, the performance will take care of itself.  That’s how dreams become realities, and success becomes yours for the taking.  What a revelation!

Warren Buffet Tap Dances to Work

Warren Buffett advises business school students to choose work that they like, and to choose to work with people they like and admire.  Waiting to do that, he warns, is “like waiting until you’re old to have sex!”

In his 2009 Shareholder’s letter, Buffett writes that he still “tap dances to the office every day.”  That’s being in love with the process.  If you shift to a job that delights you every day, you will vastly increase the odds that you’ll be successful, even in a field where you have little to no training.  When you experience this kind of exuberant joy on a regular basis, life becomes less about the end goal and more about what’s right in front of you.

Unfortunately, we’re often taught from a young age that the only thing that matters is achieving the goal.  It’s part of living in Western society.  Our culture rubber-stamps the same message time and again: results matter, winning is the most important thing.  Or, even worse: winning is the only thing.  From trying to get into the right grammar school to taking the SATs, it’s all about amassing the right credentials, not the day-to-day joy of living and creating.  There’s an over-emphasis on winning and on doing rather than being.

The irony is that, so many people who excel at ‘getting’ are not great when it comes to being.  Many, maybe most of the business and political leaders I’ve encountered, are this way.  The minority who are also great individuals are great beings who’ve chosen to be great achievers. And there are many great human beings who choose to not be highly recognized achievers.  They’re great parents or family members.  They’re great friends and community leaders.  They’re great in quiet ways.  They know who they are.  You know who they are.  They’re the people you admire and one reason you admire them is that they move to their own music.   

That’s how you find the path that’s yours—the path that sets you tap dancing to work every day.  Find your music.  “Follow your bliss,” is what Joseph Campbell, the late, great professor of comparative religion used to say.  That will get you where you want to be, even when where and who you want to be changes and shifts as you grow.

Cheers from Sonoma,

Donald 

Streep Wise, How Meryl Streep Exhibits All Nineteen of Maslow's Personality Traits

In the January, 2010 Vanity Fair cover story, Leslie Bennetts describes Meryl Streep as a woman who is vital, expressive and spontaneous – a personality trait that the late great psychologist Abraham Maslow would have recognized as one that the healthiest psyches share. Bennetts, however, is more interested at first in Streep’s box office clout and the fact that she is rewriting Hollywood’s playbook on how to produce a blockbuster.

But the more interesting story isn’t about ticket receipts or even clout. It’s about personality -- Meryl’s. This is a 60-year old human being who’s profoundly healthy psychologically.

Beyond her vitality, the woman who has given us so many memorable performances is keenly objective, even detached about her self, her work and her image. No self-absorbed “Star” here. For instance, almost three decades ago, at the age of thirty-eight, Streep recognized and fully accepted the notion that her approaching middle age would slow if not stop her upward trajectory. Thankfully, she was wrong.
That objectivity is just the second healthy personality trait that Meryl Streep has. There are nineteen in all and they’re Abraham Maslow’s – traits that he theorized, were evident among the top one percent of the populace in terms of temperamental strength. Read on, for a description of seventeen more that Streep exhibits. Each is footnoted below.

Most of all, in this and other Streep interviews you hear a high quality human being who is marvelously integrated (3), Meaning that she’s consistently true to herself and others. She has high integrity for her own work and behavior and thus is easily the same, spontaneous, authentic person to everyone.

You can also see the calm that high integrity brings to Streep in her photographs. Accompanying the article, there are twenty-four mesmerizing pictures by Brigitte Lacombe and they reveal beguiling bits of Streep’s spirit. Which is natural for a healthy psyche – they are less guarded and more joyful (4). They can be. The photos also reveal a person of deep beauty coupled with modesty. The picture on page 71 (the last at the bottom on this page) captures one trait in particular – her kindness, or even more than that, her empathy… for us. This is what Maslow would have called her identification with all humanity, (5). It should be no surprise. Streep’s vast range of performances confirms her ability to be others. But few actresses and even fewer “Stars” can look at a camera with such honest, vanity-free goodwill towards others. Not surprisingly, Streep’s favorite photograph of herself is a different one – (the second last at the bottom) one where she has no make-up, no artifice, because as she puts it, “they scraped all the crap off my face.”

But it’s not just her self or the rest of us that Ms. Meryl sees so clearly and deeply. Like all very healthy psyches, she sees everything with less baggage and in a penetrating way. John Patrick Shanley, who wrote the play “Doubt” (Streep starred in the movie) says that, “on one level she is just like a big mischievous cat – like a cat who sits in the corner and watches everyone and her tail twitches. She’s going inward and assessing outward.” Streep is a great observer and has almost a child-like freshness of perception. That helps her see reality better and with less effort (6) than most of us. How? One way is that she simply shuts up and absorbs what’s going on. Try it sometime. You’ll be amazed at what you learn.

Shanley also describes a human being who is “completely open to free association… and she doesn’t assume she knows the answer.” In other words, she’s comfortable with experimentation. She’s also fine with simply not knowing. These traits are being open to experience (7) and being comfortable with mystery and the unknown (8).

It’s hard to tell if Streep is an egalitarian or has what Maslow called a “democratic character structure” (9) but no one’s ever written that she’s haughty or arrogant. Streep accords everyone a healthy dose of respect. The best among us do this, because they do not give much credence to hierarchy.

She’s obviously creative (10) and can take abstract ideas and descriptions and turn them into tangible results (11). But she’s also quite private (12) and very likely someone who likes her alone time. A rarity these days, she’s a celebrity who shields her family and avoids the press. To Bennetts, she’s even a bit camera-shy, declaring, “I hate having my picture taken!”

As for love, Streep appears to have that trait as well – in that she has just a few, deep and enduring relationships (13) – notably with her mother whom she quoted on the Golden Globe Awards, (where she won on her 23rd nomination) and with her sculptor husband, Don Gummer. Despite all the movies, Streep has also reared four grown children. We don’t know much about them except that they have inculcated her good sense to resist the prying, public eye.

Most of all, Streep comes across as a woman who is deeply accepting of who she is (14). Part of that is demonstrated by her comfort with her own sexuality (she’s playing romantic leads at the age of 60!). The healthiest among us are good animals with good appetites. Streep is also quite comfortable with her growing power, no matter what directors or others want. This is part of being confident and able to shoulder responsibility, (15). Part of this for an actor is that she’s able to reveal herself more fully despite what others expect. As Streep puts it in Vanity Fair, “As there begins to be less time ahead of you, you want to be exactly who you are, without making it easier for everyone else.”

Streep hasn’t made it easy for casting directors who may have wanted to pigeon-hole her. The woman who seemed perfect for only tragic roles after Oscar-winning performances in “Kramer vs. Kramer” and “Sophie’s Choice” then wowed us with her comedic talents. Because of her status as a cultural icon, this is a personal form of resisting enculturation or pushing back on what others would have you be, (16). For the rest of us, we have to resist others’ opinions and expectations too. We ought to do this by rejecting advertisers’ pitches, faddish thinking and the current zeitgeist.

Mike Nichols, who has directed Streep four times says that you can “feel” her excitement at each new day on the set. Maslow called this a freshness of appreciation (17). Streep takes it further, “I’m very fucking glad to be alive!” Nearly everyone interviewed also describes a woman with an effervescent sense of humor. Presumably, Streep’s humor is also “non-hostile,” giving her yet another trait (18). It’s certainly unself-conscious.

Without speaking directly to Meryl, I don't know if she's exhibited Maslow's nineteeth trait -- a greater frequency of peak experiences. These are sublime moments that most human beings experience at least once -- moments of great sensory perception, where one feels great unity with nature or one's surroundings, moments that evoke notions of the divine and everlasting. They are by their very nature moments that change one's perception of what's possible. Top flight performing artists and athletes have more of these moments. Presumably Streep has more than her share simply because of her talent, if not her healthy outlook, (19).

Sadly, according to Maslow, people as strong and healthy psychologically as marvelous Meryl, make up just one percent of the population. But that means there are still three million of them in America alone. Be on the look out for them. Then find a way to have them in your life, your work, your play. They’ll rub off on you and make you stronger, happier and more successful at the one job that we all share – to be one’s self, well.


Cheers from Sonoma,


Donald

Maslow's Nineteen Personality Traits of the Exceptionally Healthy Psyche:

1) Increased spontaneity; expressiveness, full functioning; aliveness

2) Increased objectivity, detachment, transcendence of self

3) Increased integration, wholeness and unity of person

4) Zest in living, happiness or euphoria

5) Identification with Humanity

6) Clearer, more efficient perception of reality

7) More openness to experience

8) Calmness, serenity with the unknown (even with mystery)

9) Democratic character structure

10) Recovery of Creativeness

11) Ability to fuse concreteness and abstractness

12) Need for privacy, even solitude

13) Ability to love, deep interpersonal relationships

14) A real self; a firm identity; autonomy, uniqueness

15) Responsibility, confidence to handle problems or stresses

16) Resistance to Enculturation

17) Continued freshness of appreciation

18) Unhostile sense of humor

19) Greater frequency of “Peak Experiences"

Shout Out Loud! Traits 8 & 9 - Joy & Spontaneity

Does your boss insist that you party?
Jack Welch does. Jack was my boss for five years in the late 1980's and early 1990's. Back in 2001, I interviewed Jack for the third time, who as Chairman and CEO of GE, had been my penultimate boss at CNBC. Here's one of the last sound bites from that interview, "Welch: I think business is a lot about spirit. When I think of spirit I think of energy, I think of excitement. I think of exciting others. I mean what's worse than a manager who sits around and manages people?! I mean this is all about exciting people and making it more fun.
DVM: "But the world used to think and some still do that formality is part of big business, it's what works."
JW: "Formality is the killer of business! Informality is what makes a company work, when everyone has voice, when the quality of an idea is not measured by the level in the organizational box, but only by the quality of the idea, this isn't just about first names stuff. This is about being able to try things, wing things. This is about being able to celebrate.
Companies have a tough time celebrating, I mean every little victory, I mean
- a ratings win at CNBC, get a keg, throw a party, do something! This is where you spend your life! Have a ball at it. Why would you want to come to a place as a stuffed shirt and hang around a corporation? It's dumb, unless you had a ball at it!"
Jack is not just pushing keggers, he's pushing spontaneous expressions of joy. He's articulating two of psychologist Abraham Maslow's traits of the healthiest psyches -- immediate and expressed happiness. Regarding spontaneity which is an under appreciated quality -- This is where young athletes with their leaping, hooting and hollering have it right. This is where children are superior to adults. This is where Julia Child with her great, loud "Oooooohs" and reactive squeals had it right. We're all so scheduled these days that we often have to postpone celebrating until we find time on our jam-packed calendars. To me, scheduling a celebration in the future for some bit of great news now nearly defeats the point. I believe and have been taught by happy people that exuberance is not only justified, it is fitting. Indeed, it coaxes more success. Good fortune requires recognition at the moment of awareness.
Spontaneity is a key ingredient of joy and joy is fundamental outgrowth of a life well lived.
Cheers from Sonoma,
Donald

Outwardly-Focused, Problem-Focused

Trait #7Outwardly-Focused, Problem-Focused

Bill Bradley, the former U.S. Senator and basketball star described his life purpose to me this way, “I want to be a medium, or I want to be a vehicle for improving the quality of people's lives. Whether it's their health, or whether it's their spiritual well being, or whether it's their economic circumstances. That's where I get the deepest fulfillment, when I'm doing something that actually can improve the quality of life of other human beings.”

Maslow reasons that a healthy self-worth also makes a person less self-focused, more problem-focused and ultimately willing to take more initiative and carry more responsibility for the greater good.  He writes in his book, "Motivation and Personality," that self-actualizing individuals “customarily have some mission in life, some task to fulfill, some problem outside themselves which enlists much of their energies… this is not necessarily a task that they would prefer or choose for themselves, it may be a task that they feel is their responsibility, duty, or obligation… In general these tasks are non-personal or unselfish, concerned rather with the good of humanity in general, or of a nation in general, or of a few individuals in the subject’s family.” 

Think of George Washington who really wanted to be on Mount Vernon, his farm rather than the White House.  Think of your favorite friends who become trustees of friends' and family estates – when there’s little or no reward and a lot of headaches. 

A key reason that these strong souls are outwardly-focused and able to take on responsibilities small and large is that they work at it in a very planned way. In other words, they prepare.  

“More important than the will to win is the will to prepare,” is a favorite quote of Charlie Munger’s, the Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway. So much disappointment in life stems from our failure to turn dreams into goals and then goals into realities.  And that is due in large part to a lack of preparation.  Preparation requires study, organization, and provisioning.  I don’t know any successful person who is not a preparer.

Simply wanting and even exerting blunt effort for something is not enough. Carefully planned preparation that maximizes your efficiency and impact is what works. More important than the will to win is the will to prepare. And here’s the next and more subtle point about how the best among us prepare; top performers clearly distinguish between wants and goals or means and ends, but the best among us often take great pleasure in the means, the doing, not just the achieving.  As Maslow puts it, “Our subjects are somewhat more likely to appreciate for its own sake, and in an absolute way, the doing itself; they can often enjoy for its own sake the getting to some place as well as the arriving.”

My partner, Damian Smith is a top flight ballet dancer.  He says that working with the great French ballerina Muriel Maffre “is all about the process” rather than the performance.  For Damian, working with Maffre is a glorious lesson in preparation – the deconstruction of the steps, Maffre’s rigorous “honesty” of every gesture and the fierce discipline she brings to each rehearsal.  Maffre’s devotion to her art is so exactly prepared and intensely personal that the performance is secondary.  Indeed, the fact that it’s witnessed by thousands is tertiary. Just before the curtain rose on their first major pas de deux together in 1996, Damian will never forget that Maffre whispered to him, “We do zees for ourselves, not zem.  We have invited zem to watch.”

Love of your daily duties and preparation for great goals will not only make your life's dreams attainable, it can make much of the effort, a joy.  No wonder the best among us are more joyful.  Being joyful will be the subject of another installment of The Personality Traits of the Best Human Beings.

Cheers from Sonoma,

Donald

Hierarchy Sucks

Lou Dobbs’ Hierarchy

There’s nothing worse than watching someone use their station in life to demean those of lower status. Lou Dobbs did it when I was at CNN.  Worse, he would skewer people in front of large office gatherings.  

He once forced a small, fearful producer named Jon Labe to stand on a chair while he yelled at him because “"Jon-- you stand on that chair so I can scream at you man-to-man!"  Lou is at least 6’3” and well over 200 pounds.  He’s a very smart, intimidating, former marine.  People were right to be afraid of him.  Don't get me wrong -- Lou could be fun and very charming.  But his overall management style was built on intimidation.  And I don’t think that kind of leadership works anymore.  In my judgment it did not make the business division at CNN any better.  In fact, I think it made it worse -- people often overreacted and rushed in their efforts to avoid criticism.  People simply don’t make the best choices when they’re nervous or scared.  Great leaders know this. For instance, America's Cup champion Dennis Conner is a tough guy who works hard to not intimidate his crew mates.  Great leaders open the door for others so that even the least tenured feels welcome and engaged.  Jack Welch once barked at me, “Formality is the killer of business!  Informality is what makes a company work, when everyone has voice, when the quality of an idea is not measured by the level in the organizational box, but only by the quality of the idea, this isn’t just about first names stuff."

“Don't You Wish You Were as Smart as... "

Lou's hierarchical ways surfaced in other ways.  He liked to bring more senior people into his office to shoot the shit whenever he was bored.  One day I was walking by and got called in.  He pushed me for gossip as he paced behind his desk, smoking. (Smoking was strictly prohibited at CNN, by order of Ted Turner but Lou feared no one.)   Out of the blue, Lou turned and asked me, “Don’t you wish you were as smart as me?”  I demurred with, “I wish I was as powerful as you.”  He pressed his point, “Nah… Don’t you wish you were as smart as me?!”

I hesitated and then looked up at him and said, “Don’t you mean, ‘as smart as… I?’”

Lou narrowed his eyes and asked, “What’d I say?”

“As... me.”

Lou looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to thank or hit me.  Mercifully, his phone rang and while he picked it up I scrambled out the door.  When faced with bullies, a little grammatical judo is one way to use their weight against them. 

The best people you'll meet have what Abraham Maslow called a "democratic character structure."  They appreciate and see the humanity in every human being, "Most profound, but also most vague is the hard-to-get-at tendency to give a certain quantum of respect to any human being just because he or she is a human individual."  This is because the best people see into our hearts, they sense with their own hearts who we each are.  And thus they look past or through our superficial differences such as age, sex, race. 
Abraham Lincoln the democrat

As aware as he was of the racial divisions that tore America apart during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln looked right passed them when he met with individual African Americans.  The great black orator of that time, Frederick Douglass frequently commented on how Lincoln acted towards him, “I will tell you how he received me – just as you have seen one gentleman receive another… I tell you I felt big there.” (Team of Rivals, pg 553)

Remember that the healthiest psychologically don’t lump people into groups the way the rest of us do.  They have a fresher, baggage-free perspective when they meet people.  Not only does this give them a truer view of an individual, it gives them a more egalitarian outlook.  This is personality trait #6 of the best human beings.  Maslow called them “democratic people in the deepest possible sense… They can be and are friendly with anyone of suitable character regardless of class, education, political belief, race, or color. As a matter of fact it often seems as if they are not even aware of these differences, which are for the average person so obvious and important.” (Motivation and Personality, pg 139)

Surround yourself with people for whom hierarchy means little.

Cheers from Sonoma,

Donald 

Its Not About You

Empathy can make you rich.

Identifying with all humanity can make you prescient.

Don't believe me? Believe Charles Schwab. At the end of the second quarter, 2009 his firm had $1.2 trillion under management.

Of course empathy can make you wise about others. But it can also make you very very successful. Charles Schwab told me that he launched the discount brokerage powerhouse that bears his name because “I felt that the financial service business had developed a brokerage industry that wasn't empathetic towards customers, they were empathetic towards themselves.”

When a person evolves beyond his or her own neediness, they're automatically able to put themselves in others’ shoes. This makes for a highly sensitive and just observer. Because this is a perceptor who doesn't just see others and situations from their own, singular perspective. They see others and the world from a variety of perspectives. So, empathy gives them a huge advantage when it comes to anticipating wants, needs and opinions of others. When studying mass behavior, it gives this evolved soul an ability to anticipate market wants and needs. When asked what was the secret to his success as head of Merrill Lynch in the ‘70s, Donald Regan, Secretary of the Treasury and White House Chief of Staff under Ronald Reagan said, “That’s not a big conversation. It’s one word – anticipation.”

Charles Schwab's empathy has been particularly powerful because it springs from one of one of mankind's fundamental drivers - goodness. Schwab puts it this way, “I don't know what it was that got me to the point of thinking this way, but I felt it was about fairness. I think fairness, and maybe it was my early religious training. I don't know what it was that sort of instilled in me this sense of fairness, a sense of values. A sense that there is a human behind every business and it has to be the more you are more human, the more you can relate to your customer. And the more you relate to your customer, and where you are going to create and derive new services and relationships that will enhance your organization.”

Schwab's empathetic (or empathic) powers have made him prescient as he repeatedly shook up the clubby world of Wall Street. He led the effort to cut brokerage commissions and he was the fist to offer:

- 24-hour telephone access

- online trading

- mutual funds other than his own

And in late 2009, he has launched four ETFs (Exchange Traded Funds) charging no brokerage fees. “My vision happens to be that every American is an investor for their long-term assets, their retirement assets. They'll get better returns. They'll have better incomes. They'll have more choices when they get older. They will have more choices while they are going through their life cycle. Whether it's choices for the kids through education, choices for a second home or first home, whatever it might be. It is all about having where-with-all, financial where-with-all to have these choices as we go through life's wonderful opportunities.”

Abraham Maslow called this trait an “identification with all humanity” and wrote that the best among us, "have a a deep feeling of identification, sympathy, and affection for human beings in general. They feel kinship and connection, as if all people were members of a single family, " because of this, he wrote they, "have a genuine desire to help the human race."

That's exactly the desire that Schwab articulates. It's exactly the quality that has also made him one of the most trusted pitch-men in the history of advertising. In the world of TV personalities and pitchmen, there is a something called a "Q" rating for likeability and even trustworthiness. Schwab's Q rating is sky high. Most CEOs, indeed most company founders and even professional sales leaders are not nearly as well liked or as successful at gaining their customers’ trust.

Identifying with all humanity, having a kind of global empathy is a personality trait well worth developing beyond the riches it may help you achieve. But beware, it will make you dutiful -- taking on responsibilities large... and small. My step grand-mother "Nan" would pick up litter. This was a woman who was waited on hand and foot and yet she felt no qualms about picking up discarded dirty napkins at many a grand-child's graduation. Those who are empathic towards others are outwardly focused, problem-focused, not self-focused. Indeed, the most highly evolved human beings identify with others outside their cultures, beyond their generations, they even have empathy for for animals and the environment.

Healthy psyches are not focused on themselves. They don’t divert every conversation to their needs, wants and problems. They are focused on others and more specifically about helping others and solving their problems. Remember, your grand-mother’s counsel not to talk too much about yourself. It's good manners and it’s a good indicator of mental health to see how much someone dwells on themself.

Here is where you’re newly heightened awareness and better reality recognition are going to be very valuable. Listen closely to what those around you talk about. Watch carefully how they behave when an opportunity to help out arises. When you tell a story about some event or about someone, see if the person to whom you’re talking relates it back to themselves. When it comes to actions, notice those who make an effort when they don’t have to, as Nan did.

Surround yourself with those who care about others and who do positive things for the greater good. It will make you a better (and maybe even richer!) person.

Cheers from Sonoma,

Donald

Mad Men

Mad Men

The economy sucks and retirement savings have been slashed. And those are just the cyclical traumas. The more unnerving truth is that everything is changing and the rate of change seems to be accelerating, in: Technology, the media, the acceptance of gay people, the rise of women into positions of real power, Communist China as a formidable capitalist, a multi-racial America… and most of all: a BLACK man in the WHITE House! A black man who saves Wall Street, who is changing the way we respond to pollution, the way we interact with the world, the way we buy and distribute health care.

Making it all the more of an affront to those who resist change – is that Barack Obama won’t play his part. He’s a black man who appears more: intelligent, grounded, successful and noble than any of his white competitors. It’s a world turned upside down. To those who resist change, it’s felt as an attack on their ideals, their status, their world view and even their grip on reality. That is scary!

That fear then morphs internally into anger and that is understandable and completely natural. But make no mistake. It is reactionary to its core. As such it is powerful and dangerous. It springs from the oldest part of the animal brain – the reptilian stem. It’s very much part of all of our natures – and when activated by fear, we have little control over it. Congressman Joe Wilson admitted as much when he said that yelling “You lie!” at the President during his speech to Congress was “spontaneous.” At that moment, Wilson is the crocodile snapping at splashing prey, he is the front line soldier firing at sounds in the dark.

It’s important to remember that his appalling outburst comes from a southern conservative – the kind of person who reveres rank and is schooled in good manners. All the niceties of our mammalian and analytical brains are no match for the reptilian stem when we are scared and mad -- in both senses of the word.

Resistance to change twists even the most sophisticated minds. I know of bright, discerning, globally-minded individuals who loathe Barack Obama. They honestly believe this elegant, calm moderate is ruining the country. Their children are shocked and whisper that it can only be latent racism. It may be that, but I believe it’s simply that those who do not accept the reality of change become ever more isolated, fearful and angry.

The problem for Joe Wilson and millions of older, white, straight traditionalists is that their world is rapidly shrinking. The local newspaper is a shadow of its former self, or gone. The computer is ever more baffling. Employers push diversity. Young people are coarse and demanding. Even money doesn’t insulate anymore. Brown people, gay people, strange invaders of all shades and persuasions now populate the media and workplace, if not one’s own neighborhood. Just like Clint Eastwood’s, Walt Kowalski in the movie Gran Torino, the islands upon which these static personalities sit, grow smaller.

It reminds me of America in the early 1960’s which is so brilliantly portrayed in Matthew Weiner’s Mad Men. The world is shifting beneath people’s feet. Everyone’s a bit off balance. We know how history plays out. Women and African Americans demand opportunity and dark, fearful forces fight back. Blood is shed.

Change is exciting to healthy psyches. Change can be liberating to the downtrodden. But change can also be dangerous, because those who refute it often have no control over their reactive, reptilian and sometimes violent responses.